Monday, July 11, 2011

CEO of Sadness

(Do I still seem jaded to you?)
Have you ever noticed how music can bring out the most irrational emotions at the worst possible time? Yeah, me too. Today in the office Part One- Band of Horses played on my Pandora station and I instantly was whisked back in time to my life in NYC. I would listen to this album all the time on my daily commute looking at the city skyline thinking how lucky I was to be there. As soon as the memory came, it was gone. It was like a hit and run down on memory lane and of course, now back in reality, this is when my phone decides to ring off the hook and I'm forced to answer with a lump in my throat.

It's so easy to love NYC on TV, in fantasies and memories. Even though I am riddled with the occasional backlash of regret, I have to remember the reality of what NY was to me. It was like a totally twisted relationship and you stuck it out because it wasn't always so bad. On it's good days it was amazing, exciting, filled with hope, possibilities and opportunity. And on it's worst days it was a cruel jokester, who would lure me in only to beat the crap out of me and drop kick me when I was down and out. But I am coming to terms with the notion of loving NYC from afar because if I don't I am going to be on the fast track to becoming a Sad Sally and sadness is not my business.

Here is another case of the music crazies for the medical books. On my walk home, Waiting For a Star to Fall-Boy Meets Girl came on and I was on cloud nine. I know, I know, it's ridiculously cheesy but you'd have to be dead not to feel good when this song comes on. At least the day ended on a high note (literally)!