The Emperor Wears No Clothes

I had the most beautiful day yesterday and I am filled to the brim with gratitude for all of the good energy and positive things that came my way. The day started with me lazily dozing on and off until about 10AM. About an hour later I checked my e-mail to find that I did indeed get the job with The Vox Collective! I'll be the new executive assistant to the four senior partners of the advertising agency. I am so excited to be taking a step in the right direction career wise, well, and having weekends off is a bonus as well!

After this great news, I tidied up my room a bit, made myself some lunch and printed out the RSVP list for the digital art show at Google's offices here in the city. It was a great experience being invited to help out with this event and get a glimpse at some great art and the inside of the great space that is Google. The art that I found to be the most significant is titled Mission Eternity. It is a collection of bits of information of a dying person that is stored in a vast database used to create "Arcanum Capsules" in a sense it is a very personalized and intimate time capsule of a person's existence. These fragments of life, the knowledge, the sounds, circle the globe through networked computers allowing the dying or dead person a limited immortality. Really deep on every level. I'm still trying to digest the entire concept. Copy & paste this link to watch the video if this is your "schtickt" it really is pretty amazing: http://www.etoy.com/files/movies/mission-eternity/2007_02_20_missioneternityslideshowwithsoundweb.mov

Once I was done working the event, I met up with my favorite man in the whole wide world, Nile. We enjoyed a great dinner at Room Service on 14th St. (I'm looking forward to leftovers tonight!). Dinner was followed by a trip back to my place where he showed me his scrapbook of his stay in India. I feel like me calling it a "scrapbook" demeans the value of what he created, it's more like a really cool physical manifestation of his memories of the journey. This was followed by us sharing my bed and him telling me he loves me. I was wholeheartedly able to say this back to him, because I do love him. My walls and boundaries are non-existent with him. I feel him in ways I don't even understand. I can't describe how he makes me feel because this new feeling is so foreign to me, but I can say don't ever settle, everyone deserves to find love like this.

This also, is just too good.


You're welcome.

Earthly Delights

I forgot how great it feels to get lost in life's simple pleasures. Something as simple as a long hot shower (while listening to Sparklehorse's "It's a Wonderful Life") can make you feel so good. I feel refreshed, relaxed and at peace with the world. I've been so busy lately, that I am relishing in the fact that I have nothing to do tonight.

So my todo list tonight consists of this: blog, lounge, love poems, eat cake, lounge, sleep. *sigh of contentment*

Here is a poem, by the great Spanish Poet, Pablo Neruda. Thanks Lindsay for turning me on to his work.


"If You Forget Me" - Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Maldoror and the Light at the End of the Tunnel

"God grant that the reader, emboldened and having become at present as fierce as what he is reading, find, without loss of bearings, his way, his wild and treacherous passage through the desolate swamps of these sombre, poison-soaked pages; for, unless he should bring to his reading a rigorous logic and a sustained mental effort at least as strong as his distrust, the lethal fumes of this book shall dissolve his soul as water does sugar." - The first sentence, a warning of sorts, of Les Chants de Maldoror. You know you're in for a doozy when the author needs to offer up such a solemn disclaimer!

I'm not really sure why I've been compelled for so long to want to read this work. I'm looking forward to delving into a work that I'll have to wrap my mind around, something chewy to stimulate my sleepy brain. Maldoror, the protagonist, is a misanthropic figure of absolute evil who is opposed to God and has renounced all morality and decency. I get the sense it could be compared to the works of Georges Bataille. I've always found the literature exploring the dark recesses of humanity that influenced the Surrealist movement to be intriguing. Creepy but intriguing. This is a spooky journey I will embark on as soon as I can get my hands on this book. Apparently a daunting task since The Strand, even with its 18 miles of books, doesn't have it.

But on a contrary and much lighter note, I think all my (good) luck has returned and things are really starting to pick up for me! I've made my first official NYC friend, I've been invited to attend an exhibit opening at Google-East, and I'll be volunteering at Fashion Week this September. It feels so good to feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Once again, I can't say enough how grateful I am to have the life I do, filled with friends, family, love, hope and endless opportunity. I guess with an outlook like mine I'd say I'm the "Anti-Maldoror".

Spastic

Not really sure why I felt the need to post right now because I have nothing really to say. I'm in such a sleepy state that I actually feel sort of brain dead, is that normal? I've actually had sensations of a physical block in my brain before, maybe the phrase blockhead was paying homage to me.

I desperately want something interesting and substantial to come to mind but my mind is telling me to stop searching, it's closed shop for the day, the "Open" sign has been flipped to "Closed". So here's a quick synopsis of my week: Beyonce refuses to wear bowling shoes, Robin Thicke is careless with his Platinum AMEX card, Eat Pray Love (has changed my life) I desperately hope the movie is as good as the book, I need to get a passport and now that I've had a glimpse of cooler weather I am so ready for fall. These are the late night thoughts of a weary 'ol soul...

I don't mean to be redundant by posting music videos in each post of mine but music is a part of my daily life, so I guess it's fitting for this blog. Without further ado, here's another musical gem. It's a little sad and sleepy but I'm love.



Bonne nuit et au revoir!

Defragmenting This Mind 'O Mine

I'm really starting to research the idea of meditation. By saying this, I don't mean the cheesy "new-age" hipster sort of meditation that all the kids are doing nowadays. I am consciously attempting to find some peace of mind and I have come to the realization that I need to stop searching for this outside of myself. Money, friends, family, can give a great sense of security but I am looking for something deeper. I am looking for a sense of stability that I think ultimately only I can provide for myself. I am so turned on by the notion that if I clear out enough space in my mind, I am freeing up my mind's capacity to think more efficiently, accurately and most importantly honestly. If I stumble across a new found sense of spirituality along the way, that's great too. I've always considered myself to be spiritual rather than religious. I like the idea of finding truths that speak to me, learning life's lessons through my own enlightenment, rather than engaging in a religion that seems systematic and processed.

I'm excited to try this out and maybe once I make some room in this noggin of mine the universe will flood my mind with infinite wisdom! Or maybe I'll just be more relaxed and stress free.

Until I become a spiritual guru, it is my life's mission to dance to this:

Catchin' Up On Lost Time

So where do I begin... hmm? Well most importantly Lindsay and Matt were married yesterday. One of the most beautiful weddings I have been to yet. Lindsay was stunning and oozed old Hollywood with all it's beauty and class. It feels good to be home (I'm writing from Joanna's apartment at the moment) and around the ones I love. I can't ever express enough just how grateful I am to have a life filled with such good people.

Now for the most important news in my own life: Nile and I made it official and he is my boyfriend!! He's so special to me and everyday I think about how lucky I am to have him in my life. He is the most beautiful, inspiring, talented, intelligent and kind man I have ever met. Coming home to Cortland has always been bittersweet for the fact that I always felt like I didn't have a reason to return to the city. But with Nile in my life, it is nice to know that I have someone waiting for me to come back to.

New Band Alert: City & Colours (really digging this band in all its acoustic glory.)

Pride, Sangria and Communism

I have so much to write but I have a feeling most of it won't get written down. I'm not really thinking in a linear fashion tonight and I'm just plain lazy. :P I officially started as ambassador today with the Chelsea Art Museum and I forgot how great it feels to surround myself with art. I just feel energized, stimulated and alive! I was working the ground floor with a fantastic exhibit titled A Part of No Part: Parallelisms Between Then and Now it displays contemporary totalitarian and post-totalitarian video installations from the Czech Republic, Poland and Croatia. In these countries any form of self expression is banned by the ruling Communist regime. Paintings are an obvious target and easy to regulate but video art is less tangible and in my opinion really captures the political upheaval and zeitgeist of the times. I always am amazed by the way people find a voice when their voice has been taken away or when no one wants them to be heard. It really is a beautiful thing.

A piece by Norman Leto whose piece Buttes Monteaux 3 is my favorite of this exhibit. Here is his Buttes Monteaux 1: (#3 is much better, but this is all I could find on youtube)

NYC Pride was this past weekend and was a lot of fun. I caught the tail end of the parade as I was lazy about getting out of the house in anticipation to the ridiculously hot weather we were having on Sunday. I'm so glad I went, the parade is HUGE and surprisingly creative. Sure there are lots of shirtless guys (and girls!) but all in all it was equal parts progressive and porn. After the parade I went to G Lounge on W. 19th St. such a fun crowd and my drink of choice, Alabama Slammers, got me a lot of attention. Who knew a small town country boy could introduce the NYC masses to something so fruity and delicious! After two strong drinks (on a hot day and empty stomach) I stumbled to The Village Den, this charming little restaurant with delicious food and Sangria. Then spent the remainder of my night with Tanya and Annie at Honey. It was lesbian heaven, except for the creepy straight DJ, who I think was living out his fantasy over the microphone. It got even better when my special man friend met me around 9PM. We danced, laughed and stole a reserved table in the VIP (seriously? that was VIP?) section of the bar. Where we presumed to cuddle and talk until about 12:30AM when I was all out of pride and he had to catch the L train and I had to make my way home. Did I mention he kissed me? I know, I know! We shared out first (3) kisses on Pride! How tragically cute and gay is that?! Then he came to my place the following day and we vegged out with bad TV and Papa Johns or as I call it in West New York, Papa Juans.